Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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