See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
