Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
