i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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