I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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