some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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