Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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