I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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