I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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