We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
