I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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