I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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