Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My cat gives me a boner
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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