Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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