i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
