I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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