dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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