matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
