Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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