oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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