I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
