i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
