She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
