Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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