Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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