Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
