Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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