Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
