At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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