Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
