she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
