New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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