turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
nutella sex= disaster
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
