okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
