she was so not down for the gang bang
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
