I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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