I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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