Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
