is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
there is glitter all over my balls
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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