We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
