I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
try to milk me bitch
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
