Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
