Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
