She's JV to your varsity
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
