i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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