just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
vagina is talking i cant
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
