can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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