You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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