so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
