she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
