and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
