The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
two words...techno handjob
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
