we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
This house was built for laser tag.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize