He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
