So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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