So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
