hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
