Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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