I seem to have left my pride at pride
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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