She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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